I haven’t really partied much on this trip, but I definitely tied on a good one last night and didn’t head to bed until 1 or 2AM. I felt it this morning in my pounding head so I took advantage of the “study day” to sleep in. I lounged around in my room until lunch time. After lunch a group of students went to the beach – which is probably where I should have went – but instead I stayed in to work on our papers. Our papers and presentations are due by 12midnight tonight and we give our formal presentation to the community tomorrow. Today was a busy work day with intermittent breaks to take a walk, get some pineapple juice, and attempt to buy a dress from a street seller (her price was too high and she wouldn’t negotiate).
As the time is winding down, I am becoming very reflective about my experience here – what it has meant, what I have learned, how I have grown. I know most of the learning will probably happen long after I have left, but I always try to over-analyze and process. I wish I would stop that and just be in the moment. Be here, in Ghana, for the next 6 days. Our final trip to Kumasi should be a good time and, along the way, we will be visiting a couple different villages and village projects. I am looking forward to that and to learning more – the sponge that I am.
I am also starting to look forward to my next trip – London, Paris, Belgium, and Amsterdam, here I come! (And, maybe Berlin, Prague, Munich, and Manchester if I can swing it!)
15 June 2009
14 June 2009
Day 19: Accra
I cannot believe I leave here in a week. Me and change, while we’re old friends, don’t quite get along. In some ways I feel I am just finally getting settled and into a groove and don’t want to leave. In other ways I feel I am getting restless and am ready for the next chapter. Ghana was my “work” trip. Since my project is over and I accomplished what I set out to do I feel lost in my purpose for being here now. I guess I could just have fun??
After all of our hard-work, we still have a stupid paper to write! Our group needs to compose 12-15 pages and give a presentation on Tuesday as our final project before heading off to Kumasi for 3 nights. I spent a large portion of today working on that. It was nice, actually. One of my Ghanaian friends came over and we watched the futbol game. He sat yelling at the TV while I alternately typed and watched the game. It reminded me very much of undergrad and dorm life. Not that I miss that, but it was a nice adult-like flashback.
Afterwards we went for a walk to get some fresh air and later stopped at a local eatery for a drink. We had a great conversation about everything under the sun – family, upbringing, education, future, culture. We are very similar in many ways – both are first-generation college students who have worked hard as hell to get to where we are today and we both have younger siblings whom take care of (physically and/or emotionally). We both had drama in our homes as children and had a parent who suffered from mental illness. The effects on us seemed similar – we became hard working, dedicated, stubborn, motivated people who would not take “No” for an answer. Similarly, we became hard on ourselves and put pressure on ourselves to succeed. Failure was a motivating fear because we never wanted “those people” (who didn’t want to see us succeed) to be right or win. We wouldn’t allow losing wagers to be placed on us. I admire in him the strength and perseverance. Even now, he is looking to study in the States and is working very hard to learn more information and determine what it takes. It is not often that I meet someone who I believe matches my hard work and determination to make things happen. I rarely feel that someone works as hard as I do, but I feel it with him. It is interesting how I have to go to the other side of my world to meet someone whom I can relate with so well in that regard.
Later in the night, Miss K., our hostel mistress threw us a party! Since we will be out of town the later part of the week and most of us leave on Sunday or Monday, she wanted to have a bash to send us off. She is so sweet! She has been incredible at accommodating a large group, cooking for us, and generally being loving and motherly. She always greets us with a smile and a warm welcome. Again, the warmth here is unrivaled. We pushed back the chairs on the back patio and she had a DJ playing jams. Luckily it was a cooler night and there was a perfect breeze to help keep us not so sweaty as we danced the night away.
After all of our hard-work, we still have a stupid paper to write! Our group needs to compose 12-15 pages and give a presentation on Tuesday as our final project before heading off to Kumasi for 3 nights. I spent a large portion of today working on that. It was nice, actually. One of my Ghanaian friends came over and we watched the futbol game. He sat yelling at the TV while I alternately typed and watched the game. It reminded me very much of undergrad and dorm life. Not that I miss that, but it was a nice adult-like flashback.
Afterwards we went for a walk to get some fresh air and later stopped at a local eatery for a drink. We had a great conversation about everything under the sun – family, upbringing, education, future, culture. We are very similar in many ways – both are first-generation college students who have worked hard as hell to get to where we are today and we both have younger siblings whom take care of (physically and/or emotionally). We both had drama in our homes as children and had a parent who suffered from mental illness. The effects on us seemed similar – we became hard working, dedicated, stubborn, motivated people who would not take “No” for an answer. Similarly, we became hard on ourselves and put pressure on ourselves to succeed. Failure was a motivating fear because we never wanted “those people” (who didn’t want to see us succeed) to be right or win. We wouldn’t allow losing wagers to be placed on us. I admire in him the strength and perseverance. Even now, he is looking to study in the States and is working very hard to learn more information and determine what it takes. It is not often that I meet someone who I believe matches my hard work and determination to make things happen. I rarely feel that someone works as hard as I do, but I feel it with him. It is interesting how I have to go to the other side of my world to meet someone whom I can relate with so well in that regard.
Later in the night, Miss K., our hostel mistress threw us a party! Since we will be out of town the later part of the week and most of us leave on Sunday or Monday, she wanted to have a bash to send us off. She is so sweet! She has been incredible at accommodating a large group, cooking for us, and generally being loving and motherly. She always greets us with a smile and a warm welcome. Again, the warmth here is unrivaled. We pushed back the chairs on the back patio and she had a DJ playing jams. Luckily it was a cooler night and there was a perfect breeze to help keep us not so sweaty as we danced the night away.
13 June 2009
Day 18: Accra, Depression Circle
Same moon, same sky, and same me wherever I go. I was hoping that my depression would stay behind in Austin and let me enjoy my vacation. It appears, however, that it wanted to come along on this trip. I spent much of today in bed – reading, journaling, listening to music, and generally feeling sad/blah. I felt bad for “wasting” a day on my trip, but I needed to honor where I was today. This week has been pretty emotionally charged and, in many ways, today felt like the end of semester crash. All I have been thinking about, planning for, exciting over just ended. I do not do well with ends, ever. Also, I know I need downtime and quiet time to replenish and rehydrate. Traveling with 40 people has not afforded me much alone time. While I partly feel I ‘wasted’ a day – I know I did what I needed to do to take care of myself today. And, ultimately, that is what I am striving to learn – how to take care of myself no matter where I am. Practice, practice. Practice makes perfect, yes?
12 June 2009
Day 17: Ashaiman SHS
This morning was chaotic. We arrived to the school early, as requested, to begin our morning assembly. Since today is the last day, they wanted us to end early because they had planned a recognition ceremony for us in the afternoon! Well, as usual, we hurried up to wait. Headmaster was in a meeting but needed to meet with us before assembly. Finally, about an hour later he was able to see us. Basically he just wanted to welcome us for our final day and tell us of the ceremony they had planned for later. He also wanted to be sure we would finish our work by lunch. This did not fit with what I had scheduled for the day – I wanted to meet with the peer consulate group again and we had more one-on-one counseling sessions. However, the Headmaster calls the shots so we adjusted. I was disappointed because I did not get a chance to meet with the group again and I had promised them we would discuss some of their questions and concerns today. I had planned on helping them to identify the mission, goals, and purpose of their group along with providing basic mediation skills. I will give the information and training manual to the counselor and hope it reaches the students properly. ::sigh::
The wrap-up theme for the week was “Exploring Options - Post secondary options.” Two of our co-workers who are Ghanaian led this section since they know more about the educational system here than do we. They provided information on university and other college options as well as military options. As is usually the case with seminars like this – some students were extremely engaged, taking notes, and asking questions while others were passing notes, reading other material, or flat out sleeping. Teenagers are so similar, no matter their background or placement on this globe.
In the afternoon was the special ceremony recognizing our work this week and seeing off the student teachers. I did not want such an elaborate honoring for us. It almost felt as if we were stealing the thunder from the student teachers because we were the “Special friends from the U.S.” I definitely appreciate the gratitude; it just felt awkward. One of my friends told me not to worry; he told me that “this is how we show our thanks in Ghana.” There is a belief that if you do not appropriately thank or honor someone who has helped you that you will not again receive help (sounds religious or spiritual to me). At any rate, it was a really sweet gesture and we very much appreciated it.
This event was complete with drinks and appetizers, including the casual octopus kebab. Not only were we honored and thanked publically, but we were each given gifts. We each received a large, framed “Citation.” A Citation is equivalent to a certificate in the States. The Citation reads:
“You arrived in Ghana-West Africa on 26th May, 2009 and first visited Ashaiman Senior High School on Monday, 1st June, 2009 to acquaint yourself with the environment and to put yourself in good shape of the task ahead. Subsequently, from Monday, 8th June to Friday, 12th June 2009, you together with other members of your three-member team took turns to share with the staff and students of the above-mentioned school your rich experiences in the field for social work particularly on issues concerning: “Expressing Myself,” “Positive Self-Talk,” “Leadership Heroes”, Goal Setting” ‘SMART’, and “Future Planning.” You also held daily counseling sessions with individual students who needed help. You also proved yourself a good mixer and exuded the spirit of voluntarism and selflessness. Lesson learned from your one week interaction with the ASHAISEC community will go down memory lane, especially for being the 1st Batch of Americans to willingly choose ASHAISEC for such an exercise. Thus for the above achievement and others which are yet to manifest; and selfless services to humanity, the Board of Governors, Parent-Teacher Association, Headmaster, Staff, and Students of Ashaiman Senior High School present to you this citation. Thank you. God richly Bless You.”
This, alone, brought tears to my eyes. I feel what we did was so simple and non-impactful, and to receive such a heartfelt recognition and token of appreciation really moved me. In the States you would never get such a large thank you for such a small task. I really love that about this culture – the people are soooo warm and loving and friendly. They are so genuinely interested in you, as a person, as a part of humanity. I have been incredibly well received in ways I would have never expected. I love the warmth I am surrounded by here. It makes my heart ache, truly.
Along with our Citation, we each received a wrapped gift which I was told included “something African for you to wear.” When I got home and opened the gift, it was a traditional dress complete with headscarf. I tried it on and I think I look a bit silly but it was incredibly thoughtful. I am not sure where I will wear this in the States, but I will definitely sport my super ab-fab new wear proudly. I really am so appreciative, it is beyond words. I had already cried when I said goodbye to the kids and several of them told me they didn’t want me to leave, they would miss me, and I had changed their lives. And then to be so positively received by the administration was mind bending. I wish schools in the States would be so appreciative of support services. I wish.
.
Feeling like a ball of emotional turmoil (from a week well-done, mixed feelings of sadness, excitement, pride, and guilt) I did what most people do on Fridays at 5PM – I had an ice cold beer. I sat outside and talked with some of my Ghanaian friends. One of my friends, Gl., asked why American men have hair under their arms. I explained to her that in the US this is seen as “manly” and that hardly no men shave their underarms. She seemed appalled – “but what about the odor” she exclaimed? I asked about women and what the shave. Gi quickly chimed in “we do not shave our legs, but we shave everything else. Yes, everything.” She is usually such a soft spoken, modest, demure type of woman so I burst out laughing with her description, which included a proper hand motion demonstrating where “everything” was located. So, we had a cross cultural discussion about hair, cultural standards of beauty, and masculinity and femininity. It was really interesting to think about. Most of the arguments I have been making for or against shaving and hair is that it should be practical. Underarm hair catches sweat and increases odor – maybe shaving that is practical. Similarly for pubic hair. Leg hair, on the other hand?! What does it disturb, on a woman, other than her perceived beauty by the hegemonic society? Does my leg hair or lack there of really matter to anyone other than myself? It is not, inherently, “gross,” “disgusting,” or “wrong.” And, I argue how much of shaving legs is really a “preference.” We all have been so forced into gendered roles and boxes that we rarely have an opportunity to question or explore. How can you prefer something if you have not experienced the other? That’s like saying I prefer corn when it’s the only vegetable I have ever hard. That’s not a preference, it’s a lack of options. Having been exploring and testing gendered roles and boundaries for quite some time now, I found it reinforcing to have this conversation with two beautiful women and two beautiful men. :)
The wrap-up theme for the week was “Exploring Options - Post secondary options.” Two of our co-workers who are Ghanaian led this section since they know more about the educational system here than do we. They provided information on university and other college options as well as military options. As is usually the case with seminars like this – some students were extremely engaged, taking notes, and asking questions while others were passing notes, reading other material, or flat out sleeping. Teenagers are so similar, no matter their background or placement on this globe.
In the afternoon was the special ceremony recognizing our work this week and seeing off the student teachers. I did not want such an elaborate honoring for us. It almost felt as if we were stealing the thunder from the student teachers because we were the “Special friends from the U.S.” I definitely appreciate the gratitude; it just felt awkward. One of my friends told me not to worry; he told me that “this is how we show our thanks in Ghana.” There is a belief that if you do not appropriately thank or honor someone who has helped you that you will not again receive help (sounds religious or spiritual to me). At any rate, it was a really sweet gesture and we very much appreciated it.
This event was complete with drinks and appetizers, including the casual octopus kebab. Not only were we honored and thanked publically, but we were each given gifts. We each received a large, framed “Citation.” A Citation is equivalent to a certificate in the States. The Citation reads:
“You arrived in Ghana-West Africa on 26th May, 2009 and first visited Ashaiman Senior High School on Monday, 1st June, 2009 to acquaint yourself with the environment and to put yourself in good shape of the task ahead. Subsequently, from Monday, 8th June to Friday, 12th June 2009, you together with other members of your three-member team took turns to share with the staff and students of the above-mentioned school your rich experiences in the field for social work particularly on issues concerning: “Expressing Myself,” “Positive Self-Talk,” “Leadership Heroes”, Goal Setting” ‘SMART’, and “Future Planning.” You also held daily counseling sessions with individual students who needed help. You also proved yourself a good mixer and exuded the spirit of voluntarism and selflessness. Lesson learned from your one week interaction with the ASHAISEC community will go down memory lane, especially for being the 1st Batch of Americans to willingly choose ASHAISEC for such an exercise. Thus for the above achievement and others which are yet to manifest; and selfless services to humanity, the Board of Governors, Parent-Teacher Association, Headmaster, Staff, and Students of Ashaiman Senior High School present to you this citation. Thank you. God richly Bless You.”
This, alone, brought tears to my eyes. I feel what we did was so simple and non-impactful, and to receive such a heartfelt recognition and token of appreciation really moved me. In the States you would never get such a large thank you for such a small task. I really love that about this culture – the people are soooo warm and loving and friendly. They are so genuinely interested in you, as a person, as a part of humanity. I have been incredibly well received in ways I would have never expected. I love the warmth I am surrounded by here. It makes my heart ache, truly.
Along with our Citation, we each received a wrapped gift which I was told included “something African for you to wear.” When I got home and opened the gift, it was a traditional dress complete with headscarf. I tried it on and I think I look a bit silly but it was incredibly thoughtful. I am not sure where I will wear this in the States, but I will definitely sport my super ab-fab new wear proudly. I really am so appreciative, it is beyond words. I had already cried when I said goodbye to the kids and several of them told me they didn’t want me to leave, they would miss me, and I had changed their lives. And then to be so positively received by the administration was mind bending. I wish schools in the States would be so appreciative of support services. I wish.
.
Feeling like a ball of emotional turmoil (from a week well-done, mixed feelings of sadness, excitement, pride, and guilt) I did what most people do on Fridays at 5PM – I had an ice cold beer. I sat outside and talked with some of my Ghanaian friends. One of my friends, Gl., asked why American men have hair under their arms. I explained to her that in the US this is seen as “manly” and that hardly no men shave their underarms. She seemed appalled – “but what about the odor” she exclaimed? I asked about women and what the shave. Gi quickly chimed in “we do not shave our legs, but we shave everything else. Yes, everything.” She is usually such a soft spoken, modest, demure type of woman so I burst out laughing with her description, which included a proper hand motion demonstrating where “everything” was located. So, we had a cross cultural discussion about hair, cultural standards of beauty, and masculinity and femininity. It was really interesting to think about. Most of the arguments I have been making for or against shaving and hair is that it should be practical. Underarm hair catches sweat and increases odor – maybe shaving that is practical. Similarly for pubic hair. Leg hair, on the other hand?! What does it disturb, on a woman, other than her perceived beauty by the hegemonic society? Does my leg hair or lack there of really matter to anyone other than myself? It is not, inherently, “gross,” “disgusting,” or “wrong.” And, I argue how much of shaving legs is really a “preference.” We all have been so forced into gendered roles and boxes that we rarely have an opportunity to question or explore. How can you prefer something if you have not experienced the other? That’s like saying I prefer corn when it’s the only vegetable I have ever hard. That’s not a preference, it’s a lack of options. Having been exploring and testing gendered roles and boundaries for quite some time now, I found it reinforcing to have this conversation with two beautiful women and two beautiful men. :)
11 June 2009
Day 16: Ashaiman SHS
Since several students expressed difficulty with academic learning, such as remembering what they had read and concentrating on a task at a hand, we integrated these issues into our curriculum for the week. The theme for today was “Skills for Success – Learning to study more effectively. Since I had done more of the preparation and leading for the first days, my co-facilitators took charge on this one (plus, it is more inline with what they study – both are earning their Ph.D. in Education). That meant I had more of a chance to interact one-on-one with students and help facilitate dialogue. The students were quite restless today – they seemed anxious and disinterest in the material. Understandably so, as learning study skills is not usually too fun. And, admittedly, the curriculum could have been more engaging. Live and learn. All in all, we provided an overview of effective time management skills, practiced note taking, and identified supports and challenges to concentration. Even though the students were restless and resistant, I have to know that at least one student learned something today. Each day, that is my ultimate goal – to affect the life of just one person. I feel I have done that every day (regardless of my unrelenting inner voice telling me nothing I do is enough...ugh).
The afternoon was my opportunity to meet with the Peer Consulate. The original plan was to lead a “Train-the-Trainer” workshop but, as with most things thus far, the plan was rearranged at the last minute. Instead, I co-facilitated a focus group with the 28 students (15 female, 13 male) who serve as volunteer peer counselors. Essentially, these are the leaders of the school and all volunteer for the role of “peer counselors.”
We began with asking each participant why s/he is interested in the peer counseling program and several themes surfaced, such as noticing a need for mentorship and counseling their peers; a desire to assist peers with their struggles; an opportunity to develop and/or enhance personal leadership skills; and a desire to improve their school and community. It seemed obvious that most of them wanted to “help” and some even connected this to their future career interests, such as counseling or ministry.
We asked the group to speak as spokespersons to help us identify the issues among the student body as they see it. The main themes were: fear of speaking up in class (shyness, afraid to make mistakes and/or be made fun of), lack of adult mentorship, and a feeling of being unloved or underappreciated. It was also stated that teachers humiliate the students; often saying telling them that what they have to say is “nonsense” (which, obviously wouldn’t be much help for those who wish to speak out in class). Also, it was pointed out by several females in the group that the male teachers are “too friendly” with female students. (I later asked one young woman to explain what that meant. She said the male teachers play favorites with a group of girls and will spend much of their time flirting with those girls. I asked if she knew of anyone being romantically or sexually involved and she said no. Here’s to hoping…)
To try and identify positive and successful coping mechanisms, we inquired of the strengths of the students. They identified several strengths within themselves to draw upon in overcoming the above obstacles, including: self confidence, belief in God or faith, practice in socializing, encouragement from friends, remaining goal-oriented, boldness, determination, counseling and guidance from a few Pastors and teachers, realizing one’s humanity and unity with others in that regard, parenting, close relationships and sharing, admiring and learning from those who are confident and speak out. Time and time again the impact of a positive adult – a parent, mentor, priest, or other important person – was listed as having been integral in helping them to cope with situations. This reminded me very much of what I know about resiliency and the influencing factors to resilient human beings. Those ideals seem to be applicable in this culture as well.
We also wanted to better understand what they like about the school, how the school is supporting them, and what the school can continue to do. The students identified the strengths within the institution that already adds to overcoming the above obstacles, such as providing positive reinforcement for Class Prefects and in academic competition, encouraging groups (such as morning devotions), assisting in arranging study groups, offering clubs and sports, some teacher’s lectures, and providing social opportunities for youth
They had much more to say, however, about where the school needs improvement. Suggestions from them directly include:
• Organize more social time for students to feel comfortable around each other
• Form study groups and peer teaching models
• Obtain better facilities (furniture, science equipment, computers, etc.)
• Encouragement from teachers: more positive reinforcement than negative, discontinue favoritism, more support for students who are struggling
• Train teachers to learn how to reach students at their level
• Encourage teachers to be more patient with students and give the students a chance to think of answers
• Place students into groups based on career goals and focus more heavily on more relevant courses
• Provide individual and group counseling/therapy
• Monthly forums for students to voice concerns
• Scholarships to help with financial burden of attending school
• Offer experiential education or provide more real-life examples to help with teaching and explanation of material
• Implement a Newspaper reading club to help with English and keep students up to date on current affairs
I was impressed with the critical thinking involved in the list. The students knew what they wanted and what would help them. I am thinking how this list might compare to a student group in the US – better lunches, add soda machines, more school dances – and am humbled. Most of these students so genuinely want to learn. They work harder to complete a high school education than many do to complete their college education. They have many more barriers to overcome – financial, personal, and societal. It is inspiring and overwhelming to think about all they do to succeed.
In effort to empower youth and help them to use their voices and be agents of change, we asked them what they could do to create change in the school. The group identified options in which other students can contribute to a better learning environment, such as forming study groups; study, complete readings and some of the learning before class so it will be easier in class; fully prepare for each class; compete with each other (healthy competition for success); and attend classes on time and not participate in truancy. How responsible! Again, most college freshman I know are not doing these tasks consistently. While it can be seen as an unfortunate struggle that the students must work so hard; I see the strength and resiliency these students have and know they will be better off in their futures for learning how to work hard.
The results will be submitted to the Headmaster and Asst. Headmaster. I will include the following recommendations:
1. Expand counseling services, individually and group
2. Train teachers to utilize more positive than negative reinforcement
3. Encourage a professional environment, and address the issue of how male teachers are treating female students
4. Provide monthly meetings for students to voice their concerns and follow up on all possible suggestions
5. Develop a newspaper (or other) reading club
6. Assist in the formation of study groups
Obviously I would recommend scholarships and any other financial aid, but it is not feasible at this point. They school is very aware of the financial status of its students and is working to improve those circumstances. Unfortunately, secondary education is not government subsidized so money is tight all around. This, I believe, also contributes to the poor quality of teaching. The teachers, I am sure, are underpaid and overworked. They are managing 70 student classrooms and lack basic teaching materials. It is an extremely challenging situation for everyone. Instead, I want to focus on more tangible suggestions that could possible be implemented with little cost other than time and energy.
The day ended with me feeling pretty good. It was nice to actually get a chance to sit with a small group of students and allow them to speak. I do not believe that students’ or youths’ voices are typically heard in this community. They were hesitant to talk at first but eventually opened up and had lots to say. These kids are incredibly intelligent, motivated, and driven. I know they can do amazing things and I would love to see them flourish with some adult support. I keep thinking, in the back of my mind, that I could transform this group if I had some more time to work with them. And that voice keeps saying, “you can…in January…final field.” Shhh, voice. Not yet…
On the way home from work a couple interesting things occurred. First, I purchased some material from a woman on the side of the road. I saw her carrying fabric on her head and said I wanted to get some. Next thing I know, my friend had invited her into our van and we drove while I picked out material. Nothing like drive through (or drive while) shopping. I got 4 yards for 12 cedis. That’s a great deal, since it is usually around 20cedis for 4 yards! I must find a tailor now to make me another dress. I want to buy all the dresses here. And the jewelry. And the art. And the musical instruments. And, and, and… And I’m out of suitcase room already! I simply must come back again.
Second, I engaged in an interesting conversation with one of my Ghanaian male friends about male-female relations. Most all of the men whom I have met are still virgins. Most of them are around 25ish. Now, if I were in the States, I would think they were all bullshitting, but here – no, I believe them. It is largely engrained in the culture to wait until marriage. Some people will ‘date’ for one or two years before ever even kissing. Kissing! Some women will make a man pursue her for one year before even deciding to go on A date with him – one date, to dinner perhaps, and there is no special dessert.
Now, my Western frame of reference is…flabbergasted. Coming from such an oversexed culture, I have been very interested in these having these conversations. Today I learned that in courting, a man “must stand the test of time” by pursuing a woman. My friend compared this process to a piece of electrical equipment, my digital camera, to be exact. He said “just like your camera, we must prove our durability, reliability, and resiliency. You want a camera that will stand the test of time, don’t you?” Well, yes, but how do I know if it stands the test of time if I don’t ever USE it? If I leave it at home in its case, how do I know how it functions, what its strengths and weaknesses are? How do I know if I have the best camera for me if I don’t try several different cameras during my life? It might be a simple, silly analogy, but it really made me think. I doubt I’ll be taking a lifetime vow of chastity but it helped me to question our culture’s obsession with sex, sexuality, and the body (especially ideals of beauty). My friend broke it down and said “a partner who is for real doesn’t need physicality. They want someone with whom to share their days and feelings – for better or worse, richer and poorer.” It made me see a different view of “man.” In the States I have never heard a man say this. Men are “by nature,” as the argument goes, “hardwired for sex.” They “need” it because that’s the way “they are.” Bull. Here is an entire group of men, attractive men I might add (the no kissing rule is a shame!) who value connection on an emotional and spiritual level over physicality. Holy cow, who knew. Aren’t only “women the emotional ones?”
Learning about a different culture is so eye opening. Being here has helped me to question myself, my values, and my experiences in a new light. It has really helped me to open my mind and stretch my abilities.
One more day at Ashaiman. I am quite sad, actually. I will miss those kids...
The afternoon was my opportunity to meet with the Peer Consulate. The original plan was to lead a “Train-the-Trainer” workshop but, as with most things thus far, the plan was rearranged at the last minute. Instead, I co-facilitated a focus group with the 28 students (15 female, 13 male) who serve as volunteer peer counselors. Essentially, these are the leaders of the school and all volunteer for the role of “peer counselors.”
We began with asking each participant why s/he is interested in the peer counseling program and several themes surfaced, such as noticing a need for mentorship and counseling their peers; a desire to assist peers with their struggles; an opportunity to develop and/or enhance personal leadership skills; and a desire to improve their school and community. It seemed obvious that most of them wanted to “help” and some even connected this to their future career interests, such as counseling or ministry.
We asked the group to speak as spokespersons to help us identify the issues among the student body as they see it. The main themes were: fear of speaking up in class (shyness, afraid to make mistakes and/or be made fun of), lack of adult mentorship, and a feeling of being unloved or underappreciated. It was also stated that teachers humiliate the students; often saying telling them that what they have to say is “nonsense” (which, obviously wouldn’t be much help for those who wish to speak out in class). Also, it was pointed out by several females in the group that the male teachers are “too friendly” with female students. (I later asked one young woman to explain what that meant. She said the male teachers play favorites with a group of girls and will spend much of their time flirting with those girls. I asked if she knew of anyone being romantically or sexually involved and she said no. Here’s to hoping…)
To try and identify positive and successful coping mechanisms, we inquired of the strengths of the students. They identified several strengths within themselves to draw upon in overcoming the above obstacles, including: self confidence, belief in God or faith, practice in socializing, encouragement from friends, remaining goal-oriented, boldness, determination, counseling and guidance from a few Pastors and teachers, realizing one’s humanity and unity with others in that regard, parenting, close relationships and sharing, admiring and learning from those who are confident and speak out. Time and time again the impact of a positive adult – a parent, mentor, priest, or other important person – was listed as having been integral in helping them to cope with situations. This reminded me very much of what I know about resiliency and the influencing factors to resilient human beings. Those ideals seem to be applicable in this culture as well.
We also wanted to better understand what they like about the school, how the school is supporting them, and what the school can continue to do. The students identified the strengths within the institution that already adds to overcoming the above obstacles, such as providing positive reinforcement for Class Prefects and in academic competition, encouraging groups (such as morning devotions), assisting in arranging study groups, offering clubs and sports, some teacher’s lectures, and providing social opportunities for youth
They had much more to say, however, about where the school needs improvement. Suggestions from them directly include:
• Organize more social time for students to feel comfortable around each other
• Form study groups and peer teaching models
• Obtain better facilities (furniture, science equipment, computers, etc.)
• Encouragement from teachers: more positive reinforcement than negative, discontinue favoritism, more support for students who are struggling
• Train teachers to learn how to reach students at their level
• Encourage teachers to be more patient with students and give the students a chance to think of answers
• Place students into groups based on career goals and focus more heavily on more relevant courses
• Provide individual and group counseling/therapy
• Monthly forums for students to voice concerns
• Scholarships to help with financial burden of attending school
• Offer experiential education or provide more real-life examples to help with teaching and explanation of material
• Implement a Newspaper reading club to help with English and keep students up to date on current affairs
I was impressed with the critical thinking involved in the list. The students knew what they wanted and what would help them. I am thinking how this list might compare to a student group in the US – better lunches, add soda machines, more school dances – and am humbled. Most of these students so genuinely want to learn. They work harder to complete a high school education than many do to complete their college education. They have many more barriers to overcome – financial, personal, and societal. It is inspiring and overwhelming to think about all they do to succeed.
In effort to empower youth and help them to use their voices and be agents of change, we asked them what they could do to create change in the school. The group identified options in which other students can contribute to a better learning environment, such as forming study groups; study, complete readings and some of the learning before class so it will be easier in class; fully prepare for each class; compete with each other (healthy competition for success); and attend classes on time and not participate in truancy. How responsible! Again, most college freshman I know are not doing these tasks consistently. While it can be seen as an unfortunate struggle that the students must work so hard; I see the strength and resiliency these students have and know they will be better off in their futures for learning how to work hard.
The results will be submitted to the Headmaster and Asst. Headmaster. I will include the following recommendations:
1. Expand counseling services, individually and group
2. Train teachers to utilize more positive than negative reinforcement
3. Encourage a professional environment, and address the issue of how male teachers are treating female students
4. Provide monthly meetings for students to voice their concerns and follow up on all possible suggestions
5. Develop a newspaper (or other) reading club
6. Assist in the formation of study groups
Obviously I would recommend scholarships and any other financial aid, but it is not feasible at this point. They school is very aware of the financial status of its students and is working to improve those circumstances. Unfortunately, secondary education is not government subsidized so money is tight all around. This, I believe, also contributes to the poor quality of teaching. The teachers, I am sure, are underpaid and overworked. They are managing 70 student classrooms and lack basic teaching materials. It is an extremely challenging situation for everyone. Instead, I want to focus on more tangible suggestions that could possible be implemented with little cost other than time and energy.
The day ended with me feeling pretty good. It was nice to actually get a chance to sit with a small group of students and allow them to speak. I do not believe that students’ or youths’ voices are typically heard in this community. They were hesitant to talk at first but eventually opened up and had lots to say. These kids are incredibly intelligent, motivated, and driven. I know they can do amazing things and I would love to see them flourish with some adult support. I keep thinking, in the back of my mind, that I could transform this group if I had some more time to work with them. And that voice keeps saying, “you can…in January…final field.” Shhh, voice. Not yet…
On the way home from work a couple interesting things occurred. First, I purchased some material from a woman on the side of the road. I saw her carrying fabric on her head and said I wanted to get some. Next thing I know, my friend had invited her into our van and we drove while I picked out material. Nothing like drive through (or drive while) shopping. I got 4 yards for 12 cedis. That’s a great deal, since it is usually around 20cedis for 4 yards! I must find a tailor now to make me another dress. I want to buy all the dresses here. And the jewelry. And the art. And the musical instruments. And, and, and… And I’m out of suitcase room already! I simply must come back again.
Second, I engaged in an interesting conversation with one of my Ghanaian male friends about male-female relations. Most all of the men whom I have met are still virgins. Most of them are around 25ish. Now, if I were in the States, I would think they were all bullshitting, but here – no, I believe them. It is largely engrained in the culture to wait until marriage. Some people will ‘date’ for one or two years before ever even kissing. Kissing! Some women will make a man pursue her for one year before even deciding to go on A date with him – one date, to dinner perhaps, and there is no special dessert.
Now, my Western frame of reference is…flabbergasted. Coming from such an oversexed culture, I have been very interested in these having these conversations. Today I learned that in courting, a man “must stand the test of time” by pursuing a woman. My friend compared this process to a piece of electrical equipment, my digital camera, to be exact. He said “just like your camera, we must prove our durability, reliability, and resiliency. You want a camera that will stand the test of time, don’t you?” Well, yes, but how do I know if it stands the test of time if I don’t ever USE it? If I leave it at home in its case, how do I know how it functions, what its strengths and weaknesses are? How do I know if I have the best camera for me if I don’t try several different cameras during my life? It might be a simple, silly analogy, but it really made me think. I doubt I’ll be taking a lifetime vow of chastity but it helped me to question our culture’s obsession with sex, sexuality, and the body (especially ideals of beauty). My friend broke it down and said “a partner who is for real doesn’t need physicality. They want someone with whom to share their days and feelings – for better or worse, richer and poorer.” It made me see a different view of “man.” In the States I have never heard a man say this. Men are “by nature,” as the argument goes, “hardwired for sex.” They “need” it because that’s the way “they are.” Bull. Here is an entire group of men, attractive men I might add (the no kissing rule is a shame!) who value connection on an emotional and spiritual level over physicality. Holy cow, who knew. Aren’t only “women the emotional ones?”
Learning about a different culture is so eye opening. Being here has helped me to question myself, my values, and my experiences in a new light. It has really helped me to open my mind and stretch my abilities.
One more day at Ashaiman. I am quite sad, actually. I will miss those kids...
10 June 2009
Day 15: Ashaiman SHS
When we first began our work here I had asked the Headmaster if there was any way to meet with the boys and girls separately to discuss the issues that are most relevant to them. He had seemed resistant at first; I believe because he wanted to be sure all students were reached. It is obvious now that we are reaching all of the students. Yesterday the school counselor informed us that we would be leading group discussions with the boys and girls separately, of course in large assembly format. She wanted us to talk with the girls about their health and “womanly concerns.” She gave one example of a girl who was confused about why there was discharge “down there.” She is also concerned of girls who are having pressures of “sexual immorality.” I confirmed that she wanted us to talk about women’s health and sexuality. As for the boys, she wanted us to talk about drug abuse. Now, I know boys and girls face different concerns growing up, but girls do not get pregnant on their own. It takes semen AND an egg to make a baby…
We began our morning with Worship. Every Wednesday the school has worship first thing. (I have been to church more this week than I have been in nearly the past 10 years). The Worship was high energy and actually woke me up a bit. They had the school choir singing and a few students playing drums, percussion, and keyboard. One male student served as director of the choir while another lead the entire group in songs. A female student sang back up vocals and played some percussion. Teachers and students alike danced and sang and praised. I may not be religious, but it was definitely high energy. Then a Pastor said his part which focused mostly on staying focused on God and making time for Him in your studies. The Pastor told the students they must make time to study the Bible because if they do not make time for the Lord, the Lord will not have time for them. I am glad the students and community have a strong faith that helps to support them; however, I also know many of the students cannot pass their academic coursework because they do not have time to study due to work duties. One girl talked with me today and she awakes at 4AM to begin her day – she completes her morning chores, sells goods on the side of the road and then arrives to school at 7AM for classes. At the end of the day she must again sell before returning home to help cook dinner for her family. She has no time to study or to relax/play as is – is studying the Bible really the best for her right now? Maybe so if it gives her strength and determination to persevere but I struggle to see that benefit. It feels that the staff is so removed from the real needs of the students. At the end of Worship, the Pastor told them they must make contributions to Offering. He lectured them that if they do not give their bounty they will not receive from the Lord. It went as far as “If you give 1 peswa, you will receive 100,000 cedis. If you give nothing, you will receive nothing.” Again, I have had students who do not have money for breakfast or lunch and sometimes they do not have dinner. If they do have money, I would rather them eat food to nourish their brains and bodies than contribute to Offering. I question if The Lord really wants people to starve before He ‘rewards’ them. I do not believe in the necessity of suffering. The Pastor even quoted a story from the Bible about someone who was hungry or starving but they still gave their bounty. This was very emotionally charged for me. Again, my cultural humility is being tested quite a bit…
Following Worship, oddly enough, was our sex talk with the girls and boys. I worked with the girls group. I began by introducing the topic for today and told them this was going to be a safe space for them to ask any and all of the questions they might have about their menses, sex, relationships, their body changes, etc. To help get a sense of the questions they had, we gave them slips of paper to write down their questions and collected the questions. My colleagues were nervous about the topic and talking about sex in a cultural appropriate way so I began the discussion. With all due respect, Ghanaian culture, I will be giving these girls accurate health information concerning their bodies. Going into this I informed my colleagues I would be saying the words penis and vagina; I would be talking about safe sex and how to protect yourself (and the benefits of abstinence); and I would not turn away any question – no matter how complex or challenging it might be to answer. These girls (and boys and all humans) have a right to know about their bodies and sexuality. The deserve answers to their questions so that they may make informed choices about their bodies and futures.
With that, we had about 150 slips turned in with questions ranging from “what causes menses, why is it irregular, why does it hurt in my abdomen” to “what is sex, what is a virgin, if I kiss a boy am I still a virgin” to “is it OK for a man to beat his wife.” We also had questions such as “is it illegal to have a boyfriend,” “how can I control the white liquid coming out of my vagina” and “why does semen come out of my vagina if I am a virgin.” These girls range in age from 14-19 and clearly do not have even a rudimentary understanding of their bodies. I tried to answer themes of questions as best as I could. I felt very sad that they have not been provided with this education. They are so lost and confused. I wonder the affects of such strong religion in this culture which seems to prevent the children from receiving any education around sexual health. The only answer is to wait until marriage (which, by the way, proposals are commonplace. To be married does not mean you know one another or have dated or are in love. Many girls asked how to stop men from proposing to them and wondered why men were noticing them more lately. Men. Not boys.). We also had a question about sexual abuse and if you can say no to someone who wants to have sex with you. We gave a complete answer about the right to your body, to say no, to change your mind and how they do not owe anyone their body or access to it no matter what (for example, many aunties and uncles are paying for their education and the uncles want something in return). The counselor then got on the microphone to reiterate the importance of telling her if this was happening so they could be counseled. She said “If you do not tell someone you will have a horrible life, you will not get married and you will be not have children and you will not lead a happy life.” WTF?!?!?! Meanwhile, at this time, the boys were talking about how to stay in school and get into University and to avoid drugs. I have been so frustrated with the sexist ideals of responsibility and have really struggled to remain cultural humble and curious. I am doing my best to respect the cultural norms while still providing accurate information. I made myself available after our forum for individual questions. A couple girls came and asked questions about sex and pregnancy and how they might know if they are pregnant. Innocent questions. I wish I could be here longer and lead several small groups for students around sexuality and sexual health.
Later, during my individual counseling session a girl told me about being molested at the age of 6. She had never told anyone before and she wanted to know if she was still a virgin and if she would still be able to marry and have children. I wish I could do more for her. There is no one to report it to, no one to tell who can help this girl. I felt so helpless in that situation. Luckily, she is no longer in that unsafe situation, but she is feeling obvious after affects. She began talking about this because she said she feels nervous around men and boys and does not like to be alone with them or close to them. She asked if this was normal. She does not wish to talk to her mother (that was my first approach since family is the foundation of everything here) nor anyone else. She said she wants to just forget about it and move on with her life. I have to respect that that is where she is right now and it wouldn’t be safe for me to bring all of this up with her to have no follow up. I felt so incredibly inadequate and useless. At least I was there for her to have a safe space, free of judgment to share what she needed to share and get accurate health information. I hope she is able to tell someone someday and work through it.
On an upswing, during our break, a student I talked with yesterday came up to me with great news – he was able to accomplish one of his goals today (we had set two goals yesterday and he reached one this morning). He was so excited and the huge smile on his face was heart warming. He couldn’t wait to tell me how it went. He was bright, smiley, and cheery and said I had inspired him and he wished I could be with him always. I told him how incredibly proud I was of him for working on his goal today and told him I would always be with him. He will always have our conversation and the skills I helped him to learn and that he can carry those with him wherever he goes in the future. He also has my email address and said he will write. (Most all of the students ask for your address or email – I am not sure how many will actually write)
I also hung out with a group of girls in the courtyard during lunch. We took pictures and had a great time posing and laughing and being silly. They love the cameras, that’s for sure!
Today’s curriculum was a follow up to yesterday’s goal setting. Today we broke it down into more specific steps to achieving your goal(s) and identified those people who are in your support system, or your circle of support. I was quite impressed with the students’ abilities to think critically and identify steps to reach their goals. Students have big goals – to be the first female President, to be the Minister of Women and Children Affairs, to be “the biggest lawyer Ghana has ever seen,” to travel the world and write books, and to be “the next Obama.” Many students had sense of what it takes to enter a certain field – extra math/science or study social sciences. They knew they would need to have a practicum, conduct research, and seek mentors. It is so inspiring to hear the students’ goals and dreams and help them to identify ways to get there. I hope at least one student learns something from this week that they take forward with them and use in the future – whether it is goal setting, problem solving, or social skills – I hope there is something they can find that is useful.
Tomorrow I am training the youth consulate group on facilitation skills so they can become facilitators of these seminars. I have created a 20 page manual for them and am leading a 2-hour training. I am still determining the best way to integrate photo journalism into the project… I hope it all goes smoothly. This week has been so rewarding in so many ways. I know I will not want to leave come Friday – which is just right around the corner. I can’t believe I only have another 10 days left in Ghana. The time has flown by.
We began our morning with Worship. Every Wednesday the school has worship first thing. (I have been to church more this week than I have been in nearly the past 10 years). The Worship was high energy and actually woke me up a bit. They had the school choir singing and a few students playing drums, percussion, and keyboard. One male student served as director of the choir while another lead the entire group in songs. A female student sang back up vocals and played some percussion. Teachers and students alike danced and sang and praised. I may not be religious, but it was definitely high energy. Then a Pastor said his part which focused mostly on staying focused on God and making time for Him in your studies. The Pastor told the students they must make time to study the Bible because if they do not make time for the Lord, the Lord will not have time for them. I am glad the students and community have a strong faith that helps to support them; however, I also know many of the students cannot pass their academic coursework because they do not have time to study due to work duties. One girl talked with me today and she awakes at 4AM to begin her day – she completes her morning chores, sells goods on the side of the road and then arrives to school at 7AM for classes. At the end of the day she must again sell before returning home to help cook dinner for her family. She has no time to study or to relax/play as is – is studying the Bible really the best for her right now? Maybe so if it gives her strength and determination to persevere but I struggle to see that benefit. It feels that the staff is so removed from the real needs of the students. At the end of Worship, the Pastor told them they must make contributions to Offering. He lectured them that if they do not give their bounty they will not receive from the Lord. It went as far as “If you give 1 peswa, you will receive 100,000 cedis. If you give nothing, you will receive nothing.” Again, I have had students who do not have money for breakfast or lunch and sometimes they do not have dinner. If they do have money, I would rather them eat food to nourish their brains and bodies than contribute to Offering. I question if The Lord really wants people to starve before He ‘rewards’ them. I do not believe in the necessity of suffering. The Pastor even quoted a story from the Bible about someone who was hungry or starving but they still gave their bounty. This was very emotionally charged for me. Again, my cultural humility is being tested quite a bit…
Following Worship, oddly enough, was our sex talk with the girls and boys. I worked with the girls group. I began by introducing the topic for today and told them this was going to be a safe space for them to ask any and all of the questions they might have about their menses, sex, relationships, their body changes, etc. To help get a sense of the questions they had, we gave them slips of paper to write down their questions and collected the questions. My colleagues were nervous about the topic and talking about sex in a cultural appropriate way so I began the discussion. With all due respect, Ghanaian culture, I will be giving these girls accurate health information concerning their bodies. Going into this I informed my colleagues I would be saying the words penis and vagina; I would be talking about safe sex and how to protect yourself (and the benefits of abstinence); and I would not turn away any question – no matter how complex or challenging it might be to answer. These girls (and boys and all humans) have a right to know about their bodies and sexuality. The deserve answers to their questions so that they may make informed choices about their bodies and futures.
With that, we had about 150 slips turned in with questions ranging from “what causes menses, why is it irregular, why does it hurt in my abdomen” to “what is sex, what is a virgin, if I kiss a boy am I still a virgin” to “is it OK for a man to beat his wife.” We also had questions such as “is it illegal to have a boyfriend,” “how can I control the white liquid coming out of my vagina” and “why does semen come out of my vagina if I am a virgin.” These girls range in age from 14-19 and clearly do not have even a rudimentary understanding of their bodies. I tried to answer themes of questions as best as I could. I felt very sad that they have not been provided with this education. They are so lost and confused. I wonder the affects of such strong religion in this culture which seems to prevent the children from receiving any education around sexual health. The only answer is to wait until marriage (which, by the way, proposals are commonplace. To be married does not mean you know one another or have dated or are in love. Many girls asked how to stop men from proposing to them and wondered why men were noticing them more lately. Men. Not boys.). We also had a question about sexual abuse and if you can say no to someone who wants to have sex with you. We gave a complete answer about the right to your body, to say no, to change your mind and how they do not owe anyone their body or access to it no matter what (for example, many aunties and uncles are paying for their education and the uncles want something in return). The counselor then got on the microphone to reiterate the importance of telling her if this was happening so they could be counseled. She said “If you do not tell someone you will have a horrible life, you will not get married and you will be not have children and you will not lead a happy life.” WTF?!?!?! Meanwhile, at this time, the boys were talking about how to stay in school and get into University and to avoid drugs. I have been so frustrated with the sexist ideals of responsibility and have really struggled to remain cultural humble and curious. I am doing my best to respect the cultural norms while still providing accurate information. I made myself available after our forum for individual questions. A couple girls came and asked questions about sex and pregnancy and how they might know if they are pregnant. Innocent questions. I wish I could be here longer and lead several small groups for students around sexuality and sexual health.
Later, during my individual counseling session a girl told me about being molested at the age of 6. She had never told anyone before and she wanted to know if she was still a virgin and if she would still be able to marry and have children. I wish I could do more for her. There is no one to report it to, no one to tell who can help this girl. I felt so helpless in that situation. Luckily, she is no longer in that unsafe situation, but she is feeling obvious after affects. She began talking about this because she said she feels nervous around men and boys and does not like to be alone with them or close to them. She asked if this was normal. She does not wish to talk to her mother (that was my first approach since family is the foundation of everything here) nor anyone else. She said she wants to just forget about it and move on with her life. I have to respect that that is where she is right now and it wouldn’t be safe for me to bring all of this up with her to have no follow up. I felt so incredibly inadequate and useless. At least I was there for her to have a safe space, free of judgment to share what she needed to share and get accurate health information. I hope she is able to tell someone someday and work through it.
On an upswing, during our break, a student I talked with yesterday came up to me with great news – he was able to accomplish one of his goals today (we had set two goals yesterday and he reached one this morning). He was so excited and the huge smile on his face was heart warming. He couldn’t wait to tell me how it went. He was bright, smiley, and cheery and said I had inspired him and he wished I could be with him always. I told him how incredibly proud I was of him for working on his goal today and told him I would always be with him. He will always have our conversation and the skills I helped him to learn and that he can carry those with him wherever he goes in the future. He also has my email address and said he will write. (Most all of the students ask for your address or email – I am not sure how many will actually write)
I also hung out with a group of girls in the courtyard during lunch. We took pictures and had a great time posing and laughing and being silly. They love the cameras, that’s for sure!
Today’s curriculum was a follow up to yesterday’s goal setting. Today we broke it down into more specific steps to achieving your goal(s) and identified those people who are in your support system, or your circle of support. I was quite impressed with the students’ abilities to think critically and identify steps to reach their goals. Students have big goals – to be the first female President, to be the Minister of Women and Children Affairs, to be “the biggest lawyer Ghana has ever seen,” to travel the world and write books, and to be “the next Obama.” Many students had sense of what it takes to enter a certain field – extra math/science or study social sciences. They knew they would need to have a practicum, conduct research, and seek mentors. It is so inspiring to hear the students’ goals and dreams and help them to identify ways to get there. I hope at least one student learns something from this week that they take forward with them and use in the future – whether it is goal setting, problem solving, or social skills – I hope there is something they can find that is useful.
Tomorrow I am training the youth consulate group on facilitation skills so they can become facilitators of these seminars. I have created a 20 page manual for them and am leading a 2-hour training. I am still determining the best way to integrate photo journalism into the project… I hope it all goes smoothly. This week has been so rewarding in so many ways. I know I will not want to leave come Friday – which is just right around the corner. I can’t believe I only have another 10 days left in Ghana. The time has flown by.
09 June 2009
Day 14: Ashaiman Secondary High School
We left our hostel bright and early at 6:55AM today. I am not a morning person. At all. It takes about an hour to fight traffic to get to our school (it would only take 15-20 minutes max otherwise) so we have to leave with ample time. Grr.
Our meeting with the Headmaster this morning was full of praise for our work yesterday. He is very happy with our work here and even wants to give us an office. The Program Director from UT asked if I would be interested in coming back here for my final internship placement next January…we shall see what unfolds. At any rate, we have a plethora of support from the school. As such, we made a proposal to divide the students into smaller groups today. Instead of working with 300 students for 1 hour 20 minutes, we wanted to try 2 sessions for 40 minutes each with 150 students with the hope that they would have more opportunities for interaction.
Today’s topic was “Reaching for the stars: Goal Setting.” We began with sharing “what I want to be when I grow up.” Each facilitator shared what we wanted to be when we were in secondary school (me = psychologist) and then we asked the students to share with us what they want to be. Many students are interested in nursing, lawyer, business, and journalism/broadcasting. Other interests I heard were veterinarian, soldier, police woman, football player, actor, musician, and pastor. We then moved into an activity to help students map out their current path, the bridge to their goals, and the challenges and support they have in front of them. Taking a piece of paper folded into 3rds horizontally, they wrote “path” on the left side, “bridge” in the middle, and “goal(s)” on the right side. The path represents where they are now – they may be on a straight road, a curvy road, or there may be a fork in the road. The bridge represents what they need to cross to get to their goals on the other side, but underneath the bridge lurks sharks and other challenges. You don’t want to fall off of the bridge because these things might hurt you. These are the challenges. Most of the challenges shared by the students to reaching their goals include financial troubles, broken homes, lack of advice and guidance, unsupportive parents, academic problems, drugs, teen pregnancy/sexual misconduct, and peer pressure. Above and on the bridge are the people or things that will help carry you to the other side. What were most shared were determination, hard work, and perseverance. I thought it was interesting that the biggest challenges were structural and the biggest supports were individualistic. Our curriculum for tomorrow builds off of this seminar.
We went off to individual counseling for the last hour of the day. Today I had two clients, both dealing with friendship issues and social skills (shyness). I approached this from a solution focused, empowerment direction. I had students identify times when they did not feel shy or when it was less scary to speak up. After identifying those times and what was different in those situations we were able to identify what they might need to do in the future. With both clients we mapped out two task items for the week in working towards their goals. I reminded them they can use our goal setting workshops as tools in solving their own problems in the future. I also reminded them that they are strong and smart and capable of solving problems; they know what is best for them and have their own answers. I hope something I said is helpful. I am glad that I know something about solution focused brief therapy because that is coming in handy right about now. Social work school has taught me something.
Tonight has been spent planning and prepping, catching up on my writing, and trying to relax. I forget how draining long days are…but the work is so rewarding. I can’t even believe this is all happening right now. I feel so honored and so lucky to be a part of it. I know I am learning and growing in so many ways that I cannot even yet see, feel, or begin to process. Writing is helpful, but I really think a lot of this will not hit until I am back in the States. I am trying to just savor each moment and offer as much as I can. I am trying to have a connection with every student while I am here – even if it is a smile or a greeting, I hope to give a piece of myself to each of them. I am so inspired by their hope, dreams, dedication, and determination. I hope to take a small piece from each of them with me as well. In some ways I never, ever imagined myself here, in a place like this, doing this work; yet, in other ways it feels so perfectly natural for me to be here and this is exactly what I imagined myself doing.
Our meeting with the Headmaster this morning was full of praise for our work yesterday. He is very happy with our work here and even wants to give us an office. The Program Director from UT asked if I would be interested in coming back here for my final internship placement next January…we shall see what unfolds. At any rate, we have a plethora of support from the school. As such, we made a proposal to divide the students into smaller groups today. Instead of working with 300 students for 1 hour 20 minutes, we wanted to try 2 sessions for 40 minutes each with 150 students with the hope that they would have more opportunities for interaction.
Today’s topic was “Reaching for the stars: Goal Setting.” We began with sharing “what I want to be when I grow up.” Each facilitator shared what we wanted to be when we were in secondary school (me = psychologist) and then we asked the students to share with us what they want to be. Many students are interested in nursing, lawyer, business, and journalism/broadcasting. Other interests I heard were veterinarian, soldier, police woman, football player, actor, musician, and pastor. We then moved into an activity to help students map out their current path, the bridge to their goals, and the challenges and support they have in front of them. Taking a piece of paper folded into 3rds horizontally, they wrote “path” on the left side, “bridge” in the middle, and “goal(s)” on the right side. The path represents where they are now – they may be on a straight road, a curvy road, or there may be a fork in the road. The bridge represents what they need to cross to get to their goals on the other side, but underneath the bridge lurks sharks and other challenges. You don’t want to fall off of the bridge because these things might hurt you. These are the challenges. Most of the challenges shared by the students to reaching their goals include financial troubles, broken homes, lack of advice and guidance, unsupportive parents, academic problems, drugs, teen pregnancy/sexual misconduct, and peer pressure. Above and on the bridge are the people or things that will help carry you to the other side. What were most shared were determination, hard work, and perseverance. I thought it was interesting that the biggest challenges were structural and the biggest supports were individualistic. Our curriculum for tomorrow builds off of this seminar.
We went off to individual counseling for the last hour of the day. Today I had two clients, both dealing with friendship issues and social skills (shyness). I approached this from a solution focused, empowerment direction. I had students identify times when they did not feel shy or when it was less scary to speak up. After identifying those times and what was different in those situations we were able to identify what they might need to do in the future. With both clients we mapped out two task items for the week in working towards their goals. I reminded them they can use our goal setting workshops as tools in solving their own problems in the future. I also reminded them that they are strong and smart and capable of solving problems; they know what is best for them and have their own answers. I hope something I said is helpful. I am glad that I know something about solution focused brief therapy because that is coming in handy right about now. Social work school has taught me something.
Tonight has been spent planning and prepping, catching up on my writing, and trying to relax. I forget how draining long days are…but the work is so rewarding. I can’t even believe this is all happening right now. I feel so honored and so lucky to be a part of it. I know I am learning and growing in so many ways that I cannot even yet see, feel, or begin to process. Writing is helpful, but I really think a lot of this will not hit until I am back in the States. I am trying to just savor each moment and offer as much as I can. I am trying to have a connection with every student while I am here – even if it is a smile or a greeting, I hope to give a piece of myself to each of them. I am so inspired by their hope, dreams, dedication, and determination. I hope to take a small piece from each of them with me as well. In some ways I never, ever imagined myself here, in a place like this, doing this work; yet, in other ways it feels so perfectly natural for me to be here and this is exactly what I imagined myself doing.
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